My deepest apologies to the estate of Clement Clarke Moore...

... but with the first baseball outing of the season coming tomorrow, this seemed appropriate.

'Twas the night before 'Graphsmas, and all 'cross my floor
Not a card was unsorted-- who am I kidding? It's a bore.
The cards were all placed in photo corners with care
In hopes that some ink marks soon would be there.

Blue Sharpies were all nestled all snug in my bag
With a black and a silver and two cleaning rags
With Arron in his jersey and I in my cap,
And Chris hackin' a dart, there's no time for a nap

We must get to the Ballpark, Globe Life just ain't right
And head for the tunnel to hope players will write
Away to Randol Mill we ran as we could
With the girth we're all hauling, the exercise is good

Tom Petty said the wait is the hardest part
But it's sunny today, so that's a good start
Waiting around, talking ball, and throwing the pill
And smelling the tailgaters firing up their grill.

The cars started pulling up into the lot
And hopefully our efforts wouldn't all be for naught
We called, they pulled over, hours before the game
And they took up our cards and signed their names.

Two Morelands! Two Frasors! A Perez and four Wash!
Three Magadan! Two Bogar! Tom Grieve and two Cotts!
From out of the book and into the box!
Now I'll have a seat for I must restock!

By four the players all arrived for the match
So I picked up my box and put it in my satch
And off to the home plate gate we flew
To try for the Astros and broadcasters too.

And then with a beep My ticket was scanned
So I went to the third base side to go stand
As I opened my bag and was turning around
I got hit in the arm by a batting practice rebound!

I put it in my bag, something else to get signed,
Maybe Darvish or Fielder, either would be fine
The coaches milled about on the field of green
With the pitchers all doing some long-toss between

They took up my pen as they walked down the line
They're a last-place team, so they'd better stop and sign!
I wish Dennis Martinez was in their coaching octet
I missed him last season and need him for a set

I couldn't go today, had no work recess.
But I'm going tomorrow and hoping for success.
Stop by and say hi readers, I won't be a jerk.
Happy Graphsmas to all, now let's get to work!